Relative Clauses: Join Your Ideas Like a Native Speaker

Priya Sharma

Priya Sharma writes English learning guides for ESL students. Pune-based language enthusiast.

Visual representation of the voice · not a photographic portrait

Quick answer: A relative clause lets you add information about a person or thing without starting a new sentence: 'the man who lives next door', 'the café that opened last week'. Use who for people, which or that for things, where for places, when for times, and whose for possession. In conversation, you can usually drop who, which or that when it is the object: 'the film (that) I saw'.↗ Share on X

A relative clause is a short piece of a sentence that gives extra information about a person, thing, place or time, and it starts with a word like who, which, that, where, when or whose. Instead of saying "I met a woman. She works at the hospital," you say "I met a woman who works at the hospital." One sentence, one idea, and it sounds like something a native speaker would actually say.

That is the whole trick. Relative clauses turn choppy speech into connected speech. Below you will find which word to use for what, the five mistakes learners make most, and a short daily drill so the structure comes out on its own when you talk.

Which word do I use: who, which, that, where, when or whose?

READ ALSOMight, May, Could or Must? Talk About Maybe Like a Native →In, On, or At? Using Prepositions of Place in Real Talk →In, On or At? Time Prepositions Made Simple With 1 Picture →

Pick the word based on what you are describing.

In everyday conversation, that is very common for both people and things. "The woman that lives upstairs" is fine when speaking. "Who" sounds a little more careful. Both are correct.

When can I leave the relative word out?

This is the part that makes speech sound natural. You can drop who, which or that when the person or thing is the object of the clause, meaning the clause already has its own subject right after the relative word.

• "The film that I saw last night was great." becomes "The film I saw last night was great."
• "The woman who you met at the party is my cousin." becomes "The woman you met at the party is my cousin."
• "Here's the book which you asked for." becomes "Here's the book you asked for."

You cannot drop it when the relative word is the subject of the clause:

• "The film that won the award was great." (You cannot say "The film won the award was great.")
• "The woman who lives upstairs is my cousin." (You cannot say "The woman lives upstairs is my cousin.")

Quick test: look at the word right after who/which/that. If it is a noun or a pronoun like I, you, he, she, we, they, you can drop the relative word. If it is a verb, keep it.

Defining or extra information? The comma question

READ ALSOStative Verbs: Why "I Am Knowing" Sounds Wrong in English →Collocations at Work: Word Pairs That Make English Natural →Who, Which, That: Relative Pronouns for Everyday English →

There are two kinds of relative clause, and in writing they are separated by commas. In speech, you hear the difference as a small pause.

Defining clauses tell you *which one*. No commas, no pause. Without the clause the sentence would not make sense.

• "The neighbour who has the dog is away this week." (There are several neighbours; the clause says which one.)

Non-defining clauses add extra information about something already clear. Commas in writing, a short pause in speech. You cannot use that here, and you cannot drop the relative word.

• "My neighbour, who has a dog, is away this week." (I have one neighbour; the dog is extra news.)

In conversation, the non-defining type is where native speakers add side comments: "My boss, who's actually quite nice, said no." Learning to drop these in makes your speech sound relaxed and fluent.

The five mistakes learners make most

1. Repeating the pronoun. Wrong: "The car which I bought it last year." Right: "The car which I bought last year." The relative word already does the job of "it."

2. Using "what" instead of "that" or "which." Wrong: "The thing what I like is the music." Right: "The thing that I like is the music." In standard English, "what" means "the thing which" and cannot follow a noun.

3. Using "which" for people. Wrong: "The teacher which helped me." Right: "The teacher who helped me." (Or "that.")

4. Forgetting the preposition. Wrong: "The house I grew up." Right: "The house I grew up in." Or, more formally, "The house in which I grew up." In speech, put the preposition at the end.

5. Using "that" after a comma. Wrong: "My sister, that lives in Leeds, is a nurse." Right: "My sister, who lives in Leeds, is a nurse."

If you fix only these five, you will be ahead of most intermediate speakers.

How do relative clauses make conversation flow?

Compare two ways of telling the same story.

Without relative clauses:

"I went to a restaurant. It's near my office. A friend recommended it. The waiter was from Italy. He was very funny. We ordered a pasta. It had truffle in it. It was expensive."

With relative clauses:

"I went to a restaurant near my office that a friend recommended. The waiter, who was from Italy, was really funny. We ordered a pasta that had truffle in it, which was expensive but worth it."

The second version has three sentences instead of eight, and every idea is connected to the one before it. The listener does not have to work out how the pieces fit. That is what "connecting ideas" means.

Notice the last clause: "which was expensive but worth it." Here which refers to the whole previous idea, not just the pasta. Native speakers do this all the time in conversation: "He turned up two hours late, which drove me mad." It is one of the most useful patterns for sounding natural.

A step-by-step way to build one in your head

When you are speaking and want to join two ideas, follow this order:

1. Say the first sentence as normal: "I have a colleague."

2. Think of the second fact: "She speaks four languages."

3. Find the shared word: colleague = she.

4. Replace "she" with the relative word for a person: who.

5. Join them: "I have a colleague who speaks four languages."

With practice, steps 2 to 4 happen in under a second. The drill below makes that happen.

A 10-minute daily drill

Do this out loud, not in your head. Speaking is a muscle.

Minutes 1 to 3: Describe five things in the room.

"That's the mug I use every morning." "That's the chair that broke last week." "That's the window where the cat sits."

Minutes 4 to 6: Describe five people you know.

"My aunt, who lives in Porto, calls every Sunday." "I've got a friend whose son is learning to drive."

Minutes 7 to 8: Join two sentences you hear on TV or a podcast.

Pause the audio, take any two short sentences about the same person or thing, and say them as one.

Minutes 9 to 10: Comment on your own day with "which."

"I missed the bus, which meant I was late." "It rained all afternoon, which was annoying."

Keep a short list of the sentences you produce. After a week, you will have around fifty real sentences built from your own life, and the pattern will start to appear without effort when you speak.

Three ready-made phrases to use today

If you want something you can use immediately, memorise these frames and fill in the gaps:

• "Do you know anyone who ...?" ("Do you know anyone who can fix laptops?")
• "That's the place where ..." ("That's the place where we had lunch last time.")
• "The thing that annoys me is ..." ("The thing that annoys me is the noise.")

Each one is a natural, common opening in conversation, and each one forces a relative clause.

Your next step

Right now, before you close this page, say three sentences out loud about people or things you can see, each with a relative clause. Then set a reminder for tomorrow to do the 10-minute drill. After seven days, record yourself telling a two-minute story about your weekend and count how many ideas you joined with who, which, that, where or whose. If you count five or more, the structure is becoming yours.

FAQ

What is the difference between 'which' and 'that' in a relative clause?

Both can describe things. 'That' is more common in casual speech and is used only in defining clauses, with no comma. 'Which' can be used in both defining clauses and non-defining clauses after a comma.

Can I leave out 'who' or 'that' when I speak?

Yes, when the relative word is the object of the clause: 'the film (that) I saw'. You cannot leave it out when it is the subject: 'the film that won' needs 'that'.

Is it wrong to end a relative clause with a preposition?

No. In spoken English, 'the house I grew up in' is the normal form. 'The house in which I grew up' is correct but sounds formal and is mostly used in writing.